1. If you could go back and control what happened on the day you lost someone, what would you want to have happen? Why? How might those changes affect your feelings now?
  2. Does your loved one visit you in dreams? If so, what does this feel like?
  3. People who are grieving often experience anger. At what times do you find yourself feeling angry at others? At yourself?
  4. How do you take care of yourself when you feel overwhelmed with the pain of grief? What helps you manage those moments? Who in your life allows you to feel the pain without offering you quick fixes, rushing you through it, or downplaying its importance?
  5. What are some of the different ways that you honor your loved one on holidays and other special or milestone days?
  6. In what ways do you find yourself reaching out to your loved one? How do you stay connected? How is your experience of grief affected by your beliefs about the spiritual world? What are your beliefs about the afterlife?
  7. Have you participated in grief groups or other loss-based communities? If so, how have these communities made you feel? When does being with other bereaved people help you feel less alone? And when does being with other bereaved people not ease your sense of loneliness?
  8. Do you see traces of your loved one in people who are still in the world? Which people show these traces—and how? How do you personally embody your loved one’s behaviors, attitudes, values, and other qualities?
  9. How have you coped with the loneliness of loss? How have your perceptions of yourself been affected? How do other people perceive you? How have their perceptions of you changed since your loss?
  10. How do you manage interactions with people who make assumptions about what you need or how you should behave? When, if ever, do you find people treating you in hostile or condescending ways? When and why do people make negative judgments about a grieving person who builds new relationships?
  11. How did your relationship with your loved one affect how you relate to new people you meet—people who never had the chance to meet your loved one?
  12. In your experience, what does it mean to “move forward” after a loss?